Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Why it is not okay to use offensive language.

In today's world, its common to hear expletives being used.  Initially used to convey anger and vile towards another, its become common place now.  Friends use them amongst themselves to show their level of comfort. They are used in funny situations.  At many occasions a nonexpletive-user amongst users of profanity would feel like a teetotaler amongst high-spirited party animals. Knowing alcohol can damage the liver, never stopped people from drinking!

 Many Names for the Same Thing: Bad Language Defined
The following definitions come from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition, by Houghton Mifflin Company.
blas·phe·my (blás´fe-mê) noun A contemptuous or profane act, utterance, or writing concerning God or a sacred entity. The act of claiming for oneself the attributes and rights of God.curse(kûrs) nounA profane word or phrase; a swearword.

ep·i·thet(èp´e-thèt?) nounAn abusive or contemptuous word or phrase.
in·sult(în´sùlt?) nounAn offensive action or remark.
name-call·ing(nâm´kôlÎng) nounVerbal abuse; insulting language.
ob·scen·i·ty (òb-sèn´î-tê) noun Indecency, lewdness, or offensiveness in behavior, expression, or appearance.
pro·fan·i·ty (pro-fàn´î-tê) noun Abusive, vulgar, or irreverent language.
slang (slàng) noun A kind of language occurring chiefly in casual and playful speech, made up typically of short-lived coinages and figures of speech that are deliberately used in place of standard terms for added raciness, humor, irreverence, or other effect.
slur (slûr) noun A disparaging remark; an aspersion.
sca·tol·o·gy (skà-tòl´e-jê) noun Obscene language or literature, especially that dealing pruriently or humorously with excrement and excretory functions.
vul·gar·i·ty (vùl-gàr´î-tê) noun Something, such as an act or expression, that offends good taste or propriety.

Of all of this, humans tend to be obsessed with vulgarity, esp of an incestuous nature.  This seems to be the most psychologically damaging, hence also the most used with intending to damage.


For many people, its a habit they picked up while growing up, when they did not know the meaning of those words. In fact many of them still dont relate to the meaning of the words when they utter it. There are many words doing the rounds which 90 percent of the users have no idea what it means.

I used to be extremely sensitive to such filthy language.  I used to clam up and feel, What a horrible person! I still feel this reaction coming up when people use such language. The language became so commonplace that it became impossible to clam up and cut off people. It was time to face it.  Initially I held the moral high ground and went about preaching to whoever I could get hold off.  It never worked, in fact it left me with so much lesser people around me. People would avoid me. I tried ignoring, my mind would not allow me to without a good reason.

Now, when people come to me with the "potty mouth" syndrome, I like to use the metaphor of a pig sty.
This pig sty is an old one in which pigs from generations have been pooping. The new pigs get into the sty and start rolling in the old poop. Then they add some of their own and feel jolly rolling all over. They are unable to understand what they are doing as they are having too much fun to bother. They have no idea that it is all waste.  Such is the condition of people who are use profanities for fun. The person at whom the profanity is supposedly directed at is like an observer. From where he is standing, he can smell the poop, he can hear the farts. He feels offended and wants to give it back. So he steps inside the sty and starts doing just the thing the others are doing. Then he feels its fun to continue to do so. As long as he was outside he could see the filth, once he is inside he is no longer able to recognize he filth and starts accepting it as normal living condition.  This is okay for a pig, but the trouble is we are HUMANS! We cannot survive when we subscribe to the pig mentality.

When we look at it energetically, most of the vulgar words are to the effect of insulting the mother/sister/brother/father.  Mostly the former two.

Lets try and dissect the psychology of a expletive directed at the mother.  We may speak it, we may or may not know the exact meaning of it.  We only intent it to be directed at the other person who we are angry at or want to irritate.


What happens if we know what it means.  In such a scenario we intend it as an insult to the relationship between the target and his/her mother.  But we dont know what that person's relationship is like.  The only first hand mother-child relationship we know is the one with our mother.  So in essence we are connecting that horrible thing with our own mother!  Ok.  Maybe we are really cross with our mother, or may not even know who she is. Yet for our mind, the mother-child relationship represents that nourishment and protection which we received as an infant. (Hey we are alive today to say this expletive that means that we had been sheltered and nourished by someone!) This nourishment in our subconscious represents our feeling of safety and comfort on Mother Earth.  Hence at a subconscious level, when we speak an absurdity about a mother-child relationship, we shake our own core of safety and comfort.
Even if we dont consciously know the exact meaning of the expletive, nothing is hidden from our subconscious.

Its not just a female thing.  Yes, in our country we have always worshiped female energy.  But saying this is only a female problem would be like looking at just the topmost tip of this iceberg.

The same logic applies to the other foul statements as well:
When we use an expletive that puts a blemish on
the relationship with sisters/brothers--we shake our own feeling of companionship and belonging.
the relationship with the father--we weaken our own feeling of protection and being provided for.

If the expletive is about a body part, we are indirectly damaging our relationship with our own body.  Knowingly unknowingly when we use filthy language putting down a body part, especially sexual or excretory body parts, we go on to develop issues with sexual orientations, elimination, letting go and in severe cases physical illnesses to said body parts.  All this, even if we are directing it on another.

Now let us look at it from an energy view point.

Words have profound energy.  The energy can be charged positive, or negative, by intent. And such is the nature of intent that it cannot be charged through us without first touching and affecting us.  Then there are the receivers, the bystanders and the people who hear, connect to those words and intensify the power of the intent.

What happens when a person showers profanity directed at us?  We hear words, we connect emotionally to the words, then the ego takes over and decides we need to give back tit for tat.
The words the other person utters is like them pooping--throwing up their waste accumulation and then rolling in the same.  What we hear and smell is just the fart.  Nothing harmful, just discomforting.  When we do not realize that we make it our personal business to get our hands dirty in their disposed waste. 

No wonder then that however much "fun" it might have seemed, indulging in profanities tend to drain us and make us feel low afterwards.




Lets take a pledge today 

to not only clean our surroundings and physical being, 

but also take efforts towards bettering our emotional hygiene. 



Its part of our duty as members of a civilized society. And also to our own wellbeing.
A society brimming with clean emotional state of being is the ideal birthing ground for evolved humanity. 

I am in the process of writing an article on what to do when your child/tween starts using words inappropriate for age/occasion. Will update the link here when complete.

Love and Light
~Dr. Rashmi 


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