Today I have some guest...close friends...coming over and I have been hankering about the house cleaning up...also after my kid asking to clean up. I just paused for a while to think and suddenly it struck me!!...Why do we put up appearances in our relationships, in front of new people..Why does a new relationship seem all rosy and you feel good and all. This is the route cause of it all. This earful that I gave my kid. My actions of giving cleaning up the place, tidying up while going on and on about how guests are coming and how the place should look good for them..FOR THEM!! So I am sending out the message to this little mind that whatever state we keep the house the rest of the time , it is okay. This misleads the mind to imbibe two things --One--We ourselves are not important enough to maintain ourselves, our homes in a good condition. Two--Others opinion is more important than our own comfort. It is shameful to show people our true nature. The true nature has to be covered up by "good" appearances. however fake...
It was an eye opener. Of course I did make my child clean up the children bedroom. And I myself did keep things in order in the rest of the house. But I also resolved that we need to do this daily. Keep out a time/day in the week to indulge in this cleaning process. And communicate to him while doing all this, that we are doing this for our own pleasure. Because a cleaner, fresher environment increases productivity.
In the end of it all, there was still some tidying to do. The house was not spotlessly clean. But I pulled the line there. Any more spic and span, we, the members of the house would not be comfortable. That is not okay. So what if my home doesnot match the general definition of "clean"!. It does not have to be antiseptic clean. It only needs to be clean enough to be comfortable for us. If that does not gel with people, not our problem!!
So for our personalities. We dont have to abide by all the rules of what a "perfect" person is. That is impossible. To abide by ALL the expectations, to please ALL the people, one would have to fake it. Then starts the cycle of putting up appearances. In order to please someone you put out your best side. Nothing wrong with that. But then you also "hide" your flaws. If to impress, you are working on your flaws to remove them, then that is a positive change. But hiding them is pulling a carpet on dirt. It is bound to accumulate and rear is ugly head. It is also deception and not fair on the person you are trying to impress!!
This mostly happens when you are trying to impress a potential romantic partner. How silly!!. If indeed the romance develops, how long would you keep up the false face? It is bound to come up, sooner than later. Then will that person love you the same way? Rather would that person love you at all!!!...If you are your own comfortable personality, your own self, you know for sure that if that person is with you, it is a perfect match, it is going to last. Of course...you have no gaurantees that the other person is not faking it :P.////but then that is a risk you take :)
Okies. Enough of philosophies for the day...i can just go on and on and on....